Horse Whispering!

I first learnt about horse whispering in 2009. I’d opened a horse rescue centre with a very talented lady called D. Her real name was …………….. but D was her Buddhist name, which I must admit I didn’t understand at the time. D was a new friend of mine and although her personality traits and views were alien to me, I was secretly intrigued. I was a little bit scared by her oversizes tattoo on her arm of some Indian chief, I think, I didn’t dare look at it for too long and it took a long time to follow her example, to only see good in people and understand why they are like they are, but I have to say that lady changed my life.  So much so I left my abusive relationship, along with the Horse Sanctuary, walked out of a million euro house, in the clothes I was wearing and never looked back, but that’s another story. Thank you D, you gave me the strength!

D, in my eyes was the most beautiful, kind person I’d ever met and I was truly in awe of her. D was undertaking a Natural Horsemanship course (Monty Roberts), which I had witnessed in Ireland a few years before and straight after, went out and bought a duly headcollar and expected my horses to suddenly become magically well behaved, well mannered and orderly, after a few tugs on the rope, attached to the headcollar, which was red, incidently. After probably two attempts, I can’t really remember and being stamped on by a rearing horse resulting in a broken toe, it was hung up in the tack room in Ireland, long forgotten, where it still probably resides, under years worth of dust.

NH as I’ll call it was a bit ‘out there’ at this time. It involved, amongst other things, riding your horse without a bit! Yep no control (through pain). Some just thought it a kind of hippy thing that would pass, After each course, D would come back and practise what she’d learnt, with me on the side lines taking it all in. The first thing she learnt was an exercise called ‘join up’. Basically (all you horsey types don’t get arsey if I’ve got this a little wrong) you bring the horse into a paddock wearing a headcollar and lead rope, bring it to the centre, move it to face north, then east then south then west, release it and chase it away. Every time the horse stops you chase it away from you. You get very red faced, out of breath and sweaty (you must wear your hard hat for safety, of course and to add to your sweat), then eventually the horses ears start twitching, the one nearest  to you comes forward (or was it backwards?), once this happens you then start strutting forwards with your arms folded,  head down, not making eye contact and eventually the horse comes up behind you and puts its nose on your shoulder and follows you. Unbelievable????

I did a lot of research into this NH and started to apply it to all aspects of my life. Poor Rich never stood a chance, after he met me. I didn’t exactly have him galloping around the paddock  with me banishing a long schooling whip, red faced and about to cardiac arrest, no. but every time he said he was wanting to go down the pub (something we couldn’t afford to do at the time) I told him to go. ‘ Yeah you go out and have a fantastic time. In fact why don’t you treat yourself to a nice lads night out in Benidorm, go on fuck off!!!!’ I simpered in my sweetest voice. He didn’t know what had hit him (not the whip by the way,) a woman who was standing before him, freshly out of the shower, in a silk nighty, encouraging him to go out on the piss. As expected he never did go out, although I always tried to encourage it!

I’ve had so much fun over the last few years using  NH on people. Well not so much fun but its enabled me to get exactly what I want in life without a fight. I just wish I’d known about it when my kids were young. When Harry was young and laying on the tiled floor of Tescos in Naas, which was covered in wet, muddy foot prints (it always rains in Ireland),waving his little legs and screaming at the top of his voice ‘ I want a bithcuit, give me a bithcuit, a chocolate bithcuit Mummy’, instead of dragging him by the arms, minus my intended shopping, out into the rain and into the car where I could yell at him in the privacy of my RAV 4, I could have got down on the floor with him and waved my legs about shouting& screaming ‘I want a bithcuit Harry’. Now that would have been much more fun and I bet he’d have got up and run away in embarrassment. I may never have been able to show my face again in that particular Tescos but to be honest it was a close call anyway, after dragging my screaming child, whose arms were rotating like a helicopter and legs treading invisible water at high speed!

Rich had seen me practise my NH at many dinner parties & event. My party piece involved parading husbands around lounges and chasing them with an imaginery whips only for them to start following me around like horses. However he wasn't really buying it, actually working on horses. So, when we got our first horse, I showed him (in a fashion as I’m no expert) how it works and thank goodness, to my surprise, as much as his, it did (thank you DD). I now do it with all my horses (& all the people I come into contact with),which in theory puts me in charge!

ps Sorry to all the husbands involved.