It all started off like a normal Sunday. The human was late
feeding us and Lolly and I got a bit irritated. Lolly started throwing the
water butt around but she’s like that, impatient. The water got refilled and we
got our hay and a bit of cereal then had a little plod around our paddock before standing head to
tail and gently grooming each other, all quite normal.
It was early afternoon
that things went a bit strange. The human came in armed with head collars. This
meant one of two things, either we were going out on a ride or moving house
again (which we did quite regularly). Lolly was approached first and carefully
avoided the human, doing a few laps of the paddock and attempting to jump down
a wall which TBH was a fail as she misjudged it and stumbled, mainly due to the
muddy terrain. The human gave up with Lolly and took me unaware and I was lured
into the headcollar. It was all a bit sneaky really. She draped the rope around
my neck whilst I was eating my hay and once I was secured that was it, the head
collar was on before I knew it. Lolly couldn’t believe I’d been duped so easily
so decided she may as well give in and be caught too. On the plus side there
was no sign of any saddlery so perhaps we were just going out for a walk to eat
some nice lush grass. Lolly had a damn good brush by the human, which she
loved. Apparently girls love getting their hair done.
Let me explain about Lolly. Her real name is Lorelai but the man human couldn't say it so called her Lolly. We’d been together for three
years and it was love at first sight. I was the main man in my herd at the time
and she was always my favorite girl, I really fell for her, despite the age
gap, I am 28 & 3/4 and have been for around 4 years, although my passport says I'm 23 and Lolly is 6. I taught Lolly so much, like not to be scared on cars. She hated cars when
we first met. I taught her how to stand still when being brushed, as it was
actually quite pleasurable. I taught her to tolerate the humans riding us as
it meant at least we saw new, exciting things. I taught her that dogs & goats
were OK but not to let them get too close. I taught her it was OK to go into a
horsebox or was that her teaching me that? I can’t remember. I taught her that
I was the boss and I always ate first and chose which pile of hay or bucket of
food I wanted but most of all I taught her how to love. We really did love each
other. I just didn’t realise how much.
After Lolly got brushed it started to rain and bizarrely the
human came out and clips ropes to us, promising new adventure. I gladly led the
way up the track, stopping off for the odd munch of grass, yummy. We stopped at
the end of the track and had quite a picnic. Despite the rain I was really
quite enjoying myself. Suddenly a big horsebox pulled up, really posh it was.
So that’s what was happening, we were moving AGAIN. Never mind I was up for a
new adventure as long as Lolly was by my side.
The back of the horsebox opened and there stood the tiniest
little donkey I’d ever seen. I had a feeling we’d actually met before but Lolly
wasn’t so sure. Although I’d taught her not to be scared of lorries or even
tractors, I obviously missed the lesson on donkeys. My god, she freaked!!! Anybody
would have thought it was a monster standing there!!! She spun the human around
a good many times, it would have been nice to see her fall or at least get
trodden on but nope she stayed up right. The little donkey just stood there,staring at us, I wasn’t that interested TBH, there was too much of a buffet
going on for me. Lolly went to investigate and the next time I looked up she
was walking up the ramp of the horsebox. I would make sure I wouldn’t do it
that easily for them when my turn came. Suddenly the door shut and the lorry
started to move! ‘No wait for me’ I shouted. ‘FFS I’ll go inside, just come
back’.
I was being led back toward my paddock. My darling Lolly was
driving off in the distance. I called and called but to no avail. I found
myself getting quite angry and showed the stupid human just how cross I was by
doing a few rather large fly bucks,
narrowly missing her head. To make matters worse that bloody donkey was
following me, albeit slowly.
We got back to the paddock and I was released with the
donkey. Seeing my mood, it ever so quietly tried to do a runner but the human busted it .He said he didn’t
want to live with an old grump and quite honestly I didn't want to live with an ass!!! I wanted Lolly. The human tried to console me with some more
hay and even some oates which made me even more mad, so I galloped as fast as I
could past my human and bucked right near her face! That would show her! What a
bitch for In fact I’m still stood by the gate calling
out every so often in the hope she will hear me. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep and
that bloody donkey follows me around like I’m his parent. My life is in
tatters. Will I ever get over this????
Yours Sadly
Granadino
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